“My sheep recognize my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” – John 10:27
If you know me, or if you stick around long enough, you’ll hear me say that I ask God for “burning bush moments”. It’s my way of asking God that I see Him in my life as clear as when Moses came upon the burning bush.
2 There the angel of the Lord appeared to him from inside a burning bush. Moses saw that the bush was on fire. But it didn’t burn up. 3 So Moses thought, “I’ll go over and see this strange sight. Why doesn’t the bush burn up?” 4 The Lord saw that Moses had gone over to look. So God spoke to him from inside the bush. He called out, “Moses! Moses!” “Here I am,” Moses said.5 “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals. The place you are standing on is holy ground.” 6 He continued, “I am the God of your father. I am the God of Abraham. I am the God of Isaac. And I am the God of Jacob.” Exodus 3:2-6
How do you hear from God? The scriptures are full of ways God spoke to His people. A burning bush, a whisper, dreams, storms, angels, and even a donkey. But is there a specific way that God talks to you?
I hear God in different ways.
I really enjoy instant gratification, so for years I would ask God a question and then I would immediately open my bible and just hope He would give me a clear answer in whatever verse I saw (or the second, third, or fourth if I wasn’t happy with the first one). Not a bad method until you open up to a verse about “God’s wrath” and suddenly you’re finding yourself praying a new prayer that the verse you saw wasn’t in fact about you. So I’ve had to learn how to distinguish whether or not it’s God. But his Word is a bridge to us and God has blessed me time and time again with direct answers and comfort when I needed it when listened for Him in that way.
I’ve realized over the last several years though that God actually wants to communicate with us in a much more intimate way. There is no actual burning bush that’s going to pop up in my yard. I mean yes, He could choose to do that, but He might end up talking to the fire department as well if He did. But if we are in relationship with Him you will be able to hear and see Him in everything that you do.
Let me tell you about the most special and unique way He speaks to me…
I’ve had very specific moments over the last several years where I questioned if God was with me. If He was in fact in control of what I was facing. Someday I’ll share that story. Because it has truly shaped who I am. There was one specific night, after I had cried every tear I had in me, that I laid in bed with my son before he went t sleep. We were reading the story of Gideon from his children’s bible.
“36 Then Gideon said to God, “If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, 37 prove it to me in this way. I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised.” 38 And that is just what happened. When Gideon got up early the next morning, he squeezed the fleece and wrung out a whole bowlful of water.
39 Then Gideon said to God, “Please don’t be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew.” 40 So that night God did as Gideon asked. The fleece was dry in the morning, but the ground was covered with dew.
-Judges 6:36-40
My son had fallen asleep and that story stirred something in me. Gideon who was struggling had prayed boldly, and God blessed him with what he asked for. And at that time I so desperately needed answers. So I prayed a bold prayer myself. I prayed that when God had healed my son that He would send a dragonfly to come and land on him.
A few days later I was sweeping the front porch when I heard a buzzing sound. A dragonfly flew directly in front of me and hovered at my face, nose to nose (do dragonflies have noses?). It then flew over to my son, circled his head and flew away. In all the years I had lived in my home I had never seen a dragonfly at my house. And I never had one so intentionally interact with me and my son like it did. In that moment I had a peace come over me that God was near. That He was there. The dragonfly didn’t land on my son like I had prayed for. But it felt like God saying “ok”. My son noticed my reaction and questioned me about it. So I told him what I prayed for. I told him that God sent us a dragonfly. And from that point on I kept seeing dragonflies, on a daily basis for the rest of that year. And when winter came they would come in the form of pictures or cards. It was like no matter where I was God just kept giving me constant reminders that He was there also. I remember my husband one time asking “why do you guys always have dragonflies following you everywhere” and my son smiled and said “God sends them”.
By now I’m sure you’re wondering why the title of this blog is “Play Ball” when I’m talking about the ways God talks to me. As I’ve said, this blog is an act of obedience. God told me to “write”. But He didn’t give me true clarity in what to write. So after creating the page itself I was feeling pressure for that first blog post. If God wanted me to write it then obviously “I” had to make it good right? I needed the perfect first line that would hook any reader. A blog post so spectacular that I instantly had a million followers and I would reach the masses. It would then be so popular that it would turn into a podcast, followed by a national tour where I spoke to thousands of people from a stage. Finally I’d be invited, but turning down, an interview with the ladies of The View (because let’s be honest I really can’t stand that show). Thankfully though, in the midst of all that ridiculous thought process, I found a minute to ask God what HE wanted me to write. And in His God inspired way, He said “write this…” and the story started to unfold over the last few weeks.
The second my son picked up a baseball he was hooked. I remember the day he looked at me and told me that he was “retiring from soccer”. Haha but please don’t fret, the soccer world wasn’t going to miss him! Baseball quickly went from a game he enjoyed to a game he loved. I’m talking sleeping with a baseball bat and a ball constantly in his hand type of love. It was all he ever wanted to do and watch.
We spent several seasons in rec ball. And he loved every minute of it. There is one specific picture that I have always felt depicted the joy it gave him. His team had lost every game of the season up to that point and that game was also looking like there was no hope. But there he was in the outfield, hat turned, a wad of gum in his mouth and a giant goofy smile plastered on his face. He was just having fun doing something he loved.
We progressed from rec ball to a travel team last season. That was a whole new ballgame….literally. He was so intimidated. Then a wild pitch to the spine took intimidation and turned it into fear. It was then hard to overcome that setback when we then experienced the ugly side of youth sports. Unfortunately we had a very difficult season overall. There was one member of the coaching staff that throughout the season displayed anger, yelling, belittling, and behavior that genuinely undermined my son’s confidence. It affected him deeply – not only mentally, but also his love for baseball and his development as a player. By the end of the season, we honestly were not sure if he would ever play baseball again. And the head coach obviously felt the same way and cut him from the team. Yes, while it might be a normal part of select ball, my sensitive son took it as a crushing blow. And that smile that I shared earlier was nowhere to be found.
We had followed that head coach from rec to select so we hadn’t truly experienced a “tryout season”. And going into that first time we really didn’t have anything to lose. We hadn’t been completely sold in moving to a higher level of play so if he hadn’t have made it we would have been happy staying in rec. But this time, when he decided that he did want to keep playing, not rec, and he wanted to find a new team, I was suddenly deep into trying to make that happen for him. Tryout flyers consumed me. But as much as he wanted to make a new team, the hurt of losing the old team still hit him hard. His confidence wavered, making him too nervous to try out. And he wasn’t hiding his emotions very well. Deep down he hoped his old team would change their mind. So in the end he only tried out for four teams. With hundreds of kids trying out in the area and limited spots on each team that doesn’t give you great odds. Especially when you are not showing your true capabilities.
That’s when I started praying. I prayed a very specific prayer…
- That my son would get a new baseball team. With the right coaches that would build him up.
- That God would close all the doors that needed to close and open the door we needed to go through.
- That the door God opened would be so clear we wouldn’t doubt that God opened it.
- That I wouldn’t interfere in God’s process (I have a tendency to try and help God a little too much).
I prayed that prayer constantly. I would even find myself waking up in the middle of the night and then immediately start the prayer over again.
Then all of the doors started to close. One by one every door we tried to open…shut. I remember playfully asking God if He needed me to clarify my prayer. That yes I wanted doors to close but what I really meant was that the wind from a door closing would immediately blow open the door right across the hall. All in one swift, immediate answers, movement. But all jokes aside, I did start to question God because I don’t wait very well. I knew that I had been seeing Him work. I had felt the Holy Spirit giving me discernment like I had prayed for during one of the tryouts and leading us away from that team. I had seen a situation where my son chose not to go to a tryout at the very last minute (I’m ashamed now to admit how annoyed I was) and a few weeks later realized that the Holy Spirit had led him purposely away. I saw my son start finding the love of baseball again, which was another prayer I had prayed. I could see God…I just wasn’t seeing the answer I was praying for. But here is the thing. Even Moses didn’t get to the burning bush right away, it didn’t pop up at his feet and God instantly speak to him. The scripture says that Moses saw it “in the distance” and had to go over to it. He had to wait for God to speak.
So with what looked like all “no” answers, my son had accepted the fact that he was probably done. All doors had closed and he had agreed to the idea of going back to rec and just having fun. But then on a Saturday afternoon I received a text out of the blue from a head coach reaching out to see if my son wanted to try out for his team. It was 12pm and the tryout was at 2pm. Something I had not initiated. To me it felt like a door being kicked wide open.
We got to the tryout right as the clouds opened up and rain began to just pour onto the field. So while a plan B was in the works I watched my son make an instant connection with the coach’s son and off the two of them went to play in the rain. I saw the nervousness my son was carrying just fall off of him. Answered prayer. The tryout was moved indoors and my son met the challenge with a vengeance. He showed them he was worthy of being on the team, and within 40 minutes the door in fact opened and he was offered a spot on the team.
Now you’d think that would be the end of that story. God opened a door, we walked though…and they all lived happily ever after!
Nope…
What if I told you that during the tryout that my husband and I found out that the son of the coach we struggled with all last season was going to be on that team?
In my mind, I was running full force away from the team and back to rec pulling the door back closed behind me. In fact I texted my mom during the tryout saying “well we won’t be joining this team…”. Surely God wouldn’t open a door that led us into the same situation we worked so hard to get our son through. And the “yes” I was hearing my son say surely wasn’t meant for THIS team.
But it was….he wanted to do it anyways.
I didn’t know what to do other than pray. I needed to hear God like I had never heard Him before. I need Him to say yes or no to this team. Not me. And I needed that answer within 24 hours.
So while my husband and son went out to play catch, I went to my prayer room.
Not long ago I turned the closet in my bedroom into a prayer room. When I’m in there I always think of the Bethel Music song Surrounded and the lyric “this is how I fight my battles.” For me it’s a distraction free place where I can meet with God. And that night God and I had some business to take care of. I of course went the easy route first. I opened my bible and just hoped that the Israelites had played baseball out in the wilderness and the answers I was looking for would be right there. I didn’t find a biblical baseball game, although I’m pretty sure Team Manna versus Team Milk and Honey would have been a pretty intense rivalry. But I did open to this Scripture…”.
9 He said to them, “You sent me to the Lord, the God of Israel, with your request, and this is his reply: 10 ‘Stay here in this land. If you do, I will build you up and not tear you down; I will plant you and not uproot you. For I am sorry about all the punishment I have had to bring upon you. 11 Do not fear the king of Babylon anymore,’ says the Lord. ‘For I am with you and will save you and rescue you from his power. 12 I will be merciful to you by making him kind, so he will let you stay here in your land.’ – Jeremiah 42:9-12
If at the beginning you raised an eyebrow as to how God might speak to someone through random scripture this is the perfect example. There wasn’t an audible voice that said “Kelley this is for you” it wasn’t suddenly highlighted in yellow. But there is this feeling that comes over me when I feel God. I get a full body prickly sensation, which I did when I read this scripture. I then put myself and our situation in between the lines. I was asking God a specific question – “and this is his reply”. I needed to know if we should accept the offer and that we wouldn’t have a similar experience as last season – “Stay here in this land. If you do I will build you up and not tear you down; I will plant you and not uproot you”. I was afraid to be on a team with his previous coach – “ Do not fear the king of Babylon (insert coach’s name) anymore, says the Lord. For I am with you and will save you and rescue you from his (insert name) power. I will be merciful to you by making him (insert name again) kind, so he will let you stay here in your land.”
Pretty straight forward right? You would think I would have checked “answered” on my prayer card and went about my night.
But I didn’t. Because there is a difference between an answered prayer that doesn’t require action and an answered prayer that requires you to have faith enough to move into something uncomfortable. I found myself unable to move. And then I started to spiral. What if I wanted that scripture to be about my situation and it actually wasn’t. What if I was spinning it to my own interpretation and not God’s. What if things went really badly this season…he might never play baseball again. We still haven’t heard from one team, what if this open door was just a test and God was actually going to open the door we were supposed to go though after we said yes to the scary door. He just wanted to see how much faith I have, not to actually make me go though that one.
See what doubt can do?
But instead of continuing to spiral alone, I spiraled to God. And I stayed right there in that prayer room. I’m not normally someone who journals. My brain moves faster than my hands do. But that night I just wrote everything out. I wrote what my prayer had been, I wrote all the questions I had about everything, and then finally I wrote another prayer. I’m attaching the picture of that prayer so that you can see how I capitalized and underlined words just in case God needed to know that I wanted to add emphasis. As if he didn’t already know. And I was honest…” God I don’t know what to do! Help! Help us know what to do! God I need a clear sign!” (as if I didn’t already just get one). And at the end I said again “Can I simply ask for another very clear sign of the path we are supposed to take?”.
Here’s the thing about God. He already knows what we are thinking, so we might as well say it to his face. He already knew that I have troubles with control and walking into the unknown is scary. And He certainly knows that my child is my kryptonite. When he’s not ok, I’m not ok. And trusting even God with him is difficult for me. So thankfully God was patient with me at that moment.
I fell asleep that night in prayer. And when I woke up the next morning I started all over again. I was down to the 4-5 hour mark before I had to answer yes or no. And I didn’t know what to do.
I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. I almost feel like I could hear God laugh at how startled I was when there on my kitchen window was one of the largest dragonflies I’ve ever seen.
Just sitting there. I yelled for my son who just smiled from ear to ear when he saw it. We didn’t say it out loud but I felt us both say “God.” Then of course we had to run outside to get a closer look. It even let me move it from my window and onto my hand. It was as large as my palm. What dragonfly even allows you to hold it other than God delivered ones? But it didn’t start talking to me or leave a tiny rolled up note from God… so again I just kept asking Him for an answer (that He was clearly trying to give).
We get ready and go to church. When we step out of the car dragonflies start flying all around my son and I. We stopped counting after we got to the number 10. I’ve never seen so many in a parking lot. At the lake or a pond maybe. But not on concrete. And they were literally circling us. But still I didn’t say “yes”.
Worship is always my favorite part of service. I’ve always connected with God through song. That day it seemed like every song had the message of “trust”. I felt my eyes stinging with tears and the nagging feeling that I wasn’t trusting the way God was calling me to.
Before I go on let’s do a little math of all the ways God had been answering my prayer and I kept refusing to see that it equaled His answer…
1 every door closed + 2 tryout and offer for a baseball team that I had not initiated + 3 a scripture that spoke into my situation + 4 a dragonfly on my window +5 dragonflies flying around me = ?!?!?!
Here is where the entire class in unison shouts…. “What is it going to take for Kelley to realize that it all adds up to equal God’s answer is YES.
Well, I will tell you…
Ready for God’s mic drop?
The sermon that day……Gideon and the wet and dry fleece. The exact story that inspired my dragonflies. The unique way that I told you that God speaks to me. I literally was handed confirmation that the dragonflies that day were directly from God who was and had been speaking into my situation.
But He didn’t stop there. Within the words of the sermon was God continued to guide and build my faith. Points like:
Faith = Belief x Action (I was obviously doing common core addition so God gave me 80’s and 90’s multiplication.)
Faith zig zags:
- Faith begins with an encounter
- Faith isn’t certainty
- Faith allows reassurance
- Faith has a deadline on hesitation
- Faith moves scared
And if that wasn’t enough, the final words of the sermon said this:
“He is still looking for people who is struggling with their fear
I leave you with this question….
Will you say yes to the next step
I wish that I could tell you that if you follow Jesus that he will unload to you the beginning to the end of your life. That you will know steps 1-25.
Anybody who has been following Jesus for 5 minutes knows that that is not true.
But if you trust him with the next step He will reveal the step after that and the step after that and the step after that. And over time you’ll look at your life and realize, oh my gosh, look at this zig zag journey that has absolutely been taking me to the place that God always intended to take me.
Will you say yes to the next step. Faith =belief x action. And when you say yes to God you get to be a part of the bigger story He’s writing for your life.” –Chuck Mingo
So later that day, in faith, we said YES…Let’s Play Ball!!
But that story wasn’t meant to be about baseball…
Have you thought more about my question? How do you hear from God? The verse I opened with said “My sheep recognize my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” – John 10:27. Jesus is painting the picture of His relationship being like a shepherd is to his sheep. In fact, in John 10:11 He calls Himself “The Good Shepard.” It was a picture easily understood back in those times. A shepherd had an intimate relationship with his sheep. They literally knew his voice so much so that even if another shepherd came into the flock they would not follow the voice they didn’t know. But they heard and followed THEIR shepherd. The one who knew them, guided them, and kept them safe. And they trusted that voice. Do you know the sound of your Shepherd? How does He speak to you? Where does He lead you? What is your dragonfly?
King David so beautifully puts it like this:
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
Forever. -Psalm 23
If your answer is that you know the Shepherd but that you don’t know how to recognize his presence and voice, I encourage you to boldly ask God to show you. He will. And I promise you, his presence is everywhere! Maybe even in an insect.
Or maybe you are reading this today and it is the first time you are hearing that you can have an intimate relationship with God. Maybe you thought that you had to navigate life alone. And maybe you in fact feel very alone. Friend, you are not alone. I said earlier that my son is my kryptonite…my biggest weakness. God’s son however, is my biggest strength. He can be yours too. Because God’s Son Jesus came to this earth, died on a cross and three days later rose from the grave for your sins. So that you can have the same intimate relationship with God that I have been writing about. He did that for you. And all you have to do is ask for that relationship. Romans 10:9 says “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.” Start there…He will do the rest.
~💕~
So there it was! My first blog! Thank you for stopping by! I’m so glad that you were here! Don’t forget there are several ways you can connect with me. You’ll find the link to subscribe, share and send me a note on the home page. I would love to hear how YOU connect and hear God. And if you need prayer, pop on over to the prayer tab and click the link. I would be honored to pray for you.
Until the next bit of chaos,
❤ Kel
Kel Unscripted 
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